let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
