life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I am naked and annoyed.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Your penis caused this!
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
