I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
