I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
You've changed since you got that strap on
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
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