I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
