Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
