so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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