i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Green mimosas i think yes
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Randomize
