i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
