So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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