called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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