i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
