I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize