Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
