he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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