I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
