So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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