He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
