Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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