please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
She needs sedatives and a leash
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Randomize
