Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Randomize
