I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize
