Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
