My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
