All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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