i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Holy shit dude........stairs
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Randomize
