hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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