My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
