It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
