her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
