Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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