thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
