I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
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