Fuck appropriateness.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Randomize
