I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
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