My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
