I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Randomize
