i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Randomize