Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
