I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
But break dance skills will only take you so far
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
