then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
