What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
