don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
everyone is single if you try hard enough
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
