Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Randomize
