Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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