forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
