My brain says no but my pants say off.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize