you guys were way drunker than both of me
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
Randomize
