PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Randomize
