so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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