the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
