I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
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