They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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