i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
