you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Randomize
