I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
