I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
