she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
