my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
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