you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
I woke up under a house in Key West
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
