Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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