So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
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