he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
she pinky promised me she was 18
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
