talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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