Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
