I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Gay?
German.
Pity.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
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