In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
